Being Mindful to the Waves

Mindfulness Essay by Yaara Lokits

Went to the sea at winter time, hoping to tame the waves. However, as waves are untamable - I came back home disappointed that I’m unable to ease the waves and the ocean.

Waves, like people, cannot be tamed. Our thoughts and feelings often are different from what we wish them to be. Highs and lows are happening whether or not we try altering them or just letting them be.

The only thing that we can “tame” is the way we react to the waves. Accepting it’s now winter, or fighting for summer? Although it might be easy to understand, we have no control; our urges push us to make winter, sadness, suffering, weakness - go away.

When I'm feeling low, my inhabiting thoughts are in control. My perspective is narrower, and the suffering is stronger.

Luckily for us, there are ways that help us practice this acceptance, regardless of what comes up. How can we practice accepting “winter” emotions? Can mindfulness practice help us expand our perspective, seeing the clouds above the ocean, understanding - this too, shall pass?

Mindfulness practice might mean to some - sitting and being aware of our feelings, emotions, sensations and whatever comes up and just sit there; Sometimes that's not the solution.

Trying to “tame” the way we feel by awareness can feel like a wave is taking control of us. Just like taming the waves in winter, trying to sit down motionless when our waves are stormy, can lead to disappointment and increase the feeling that we lack control.

We always have the option to notice the waves, watch as they come and go, understanding with our bodies it’s all temporary - just not always by sitting down.

While we experience “winter” from within our brain, here are three alternatives to your day to day practice of meditation;

1. Walking - when you feel your mind is stormy, walk aimlessly outside and while moving, try noticing things as they change; the wind might be making the leafs dance, clouds in the sky might come and go, people pass by, rivers are anew. Allowing yourself to get lost in the happenings around you, deeply understanding the habit of everything around you to keep on changing, allows you to expand your perspective.

2. Staring at moving objects - Sit under a tree and notice as many changes as they happen, watch the ocean as waves come and go, or even a highway as cars and people pass by. As we are also 60% water, the changes we see outside are often changes that happen inside. Seeing those changes, allowing us to let go of the feeling we had when we left our house. Every moment, just like the waves, our brain is changing.

3. Dancing - moving your body might feel out of context, especially when feeling low. But once we start dancing, blood flows and emotions are released. Find music that matches the way you feel, a quiet place, and dance for ten or twenty minutes.

There are many other mindful options for accepting “winter” from within, without trying to tame the waves. Such as sharing with supportive friends or family, writing your thoughts as they rise. There is no right or wrong way, think of yourself as a researcher, looking for the best method for each time.

Whatever you choose to do, remember that just like the waves are constantly changing, so are you. Even the toughest “winter” emotions and sensations you’ve had passed, just like everything else. Trying to control your emotions and thoughts is like trying to control the waves. Instead of controlling, you can always look to see changes as they unfold.